Reactivity within couple relationships is common, as it is in other family relationships, such as parent and child or between siblings. It's also a natural stage in the formation of emotional intimacy, one you and your partner need to grow out of, however, as you learn what works and doesn't work to strengthen a healthy connection between you.
If defensive reactivity or addictive relationship patterns are affecting the quality of your couple relationship, or family relationships in general, you’ve come to the right place. Conscious-Love Relationship Therapy is an exciting new development in which conscious awareness, thought and action are applied directly to help you as individuals in your role as partners in your couple relationship, and, if applicable, in your role as parents and leaders of your family, to transform pockets of emotionally charged memories that cause the reactivity that, ultimately, affects the quality of your life and relationship today.
What is Conscious-Love™ Relationship Therapy (CLRT)?
Have you considered that, based on the latest findings in affective neuroscience, the quality of your inner peace and happiness is profoundly connected to your ability to nurture quality relationships in your life, especially with those closest to you? Relationships are your connection to life’s joys, meaning and purpose, yet they are also your biggest challenges, and sources of pain and discontent. If you and your partner, or children, find it difficult to respond to one another without automatic defensive reactions, take heart. Conscious-Love™ Relationship Therapy allows you and your partner to transform challenges into growth experiences in your couple and family relationships in ways that enhance, rather than erode, emotional intimacy in the couple relationship. The primary emphasis is on strengthening relational quality of your couple relationship with couples therapy as a point of balance for healing old wounds, disowned aspects of self that may be causing inner reactivity, and restoring the sense of safety and trust you and your partner need to feel safe enough to give and to receive love from one another.
In contrast, unconscious or habitual ways of communicating, reactivity and defensiveness, have the opposite effect or, at best, are hit or miss. You may do fine, for example, on days when you are at your best. How about those “off” moments, when you feel a bit overwhelmed, overextended, or pressured? Do you know how to manage your heart in these challenging moments? When you communicate reactively, out of frustration, with anger, irritability or anxiety, this tends to produce defensiveness in others, thus, your attempts to influence others, regardless your intentions or helpful you are trying to be, are met with some or much resistance. In the long run, your own reactivity may be playing a major role in producing unhappiness and.
Conscious-Love™ Relationship Therapy invites you and your family to focus your caring on cultivating the quality of your relationships. The purpose is to nurture quality connections in the relationship in which the emotional yearnings of each person are authentically expressed, valued and fulfilled through “natural giving,” a type of giving inspired by love and joy, rather than automatically trigged by fear, guilt or shame.
In family relationship therapy, you work toward the following treatment goals:
- Deepen knowledge of yourself, your wants, emotional needs, dreams, and your unique perspective, beliefs and convictions, as an individual.
- Gain better understanding of relationships in general, and one another as both unique individuals and team members.
- Structure your communications in a way that allows each person in the communication to feel safe enough to remain empathically connected.
- Examine the possible impact of past wounds or defining events on your current personal lives and family relationships.
- Identify limiting subconscious scripts and beliefs that block communications and cause reactivity and defensiveness.
- Identify and replace old thinking habits, and defensive coping strategies with enriching ones.
- Identify and replace limiting beliefs about self and one another with ones that energize optimal energy, enthusiasm, positive beliefs and momentum.
- Learn the difference between making requests and demands.
- Understand anger, and the distinctions healthy, assertive anger and destructive defensive ways of expressing anger.
- Talk together and listen in a way that each feels accepted, validated and understood—even when you have different perspectives.
When you and your partner understand what it takes to nurture healthful relationships and communications, you can be a conscious influence to your children, and others you care about, that models and teaches tools that will help them throughout their lives and relationships.
Why Conscious-Love™ Communication?
A key component of Conscious-Love Relationship Therapy is Conscious-Love™ Communication, a structure that provides essential tools that allow each family member to feel safe enough to be authentic with one another, and break free of old fears, such as fear of disapproval, that blocked them from expressing themselves in authentic ways in their communications. When talking and listening between members feel safe, loving, and satisfying, your relationships feel secure, gratifying and fulfilling…and each member of the family feels safe enough to love. Free and open expression of thoughts and feelings is a hallmark of healthy family relationships. For more information, refer to the section on Conscious-Love™ Communication Therapy.
Why Conscious-Love™ Couples Therapy?
Talking freely and openly is also a hallmark of healthy couple relationships; in fact, in CLRT, the couple relationship is considered a powerful hub, a relationship that sets the standard and tone for all other relationships in the family. Because of this, Conscious-Love™ Couples Therapy is a primary focus. Partners in couple relationships learn how to exercise the power of consciously informed choices, to open up space for self and one another, and to free one another to be able to give from a place of love and joy, rather than from fear, shame or guilt. In doing so, they discover how stretching to promote one another’s sense of safety best guarantees the restoration of their own sense of self in the relationship. You can learn more about this by checking out the Conscious-Love™ Couples Therapy section.
Together, Conscious-Love™ Communication and Relationship Therapy is a way to relate to self and to others that focuses on cultivating radiantly healthy relationships.
For more information about conscious-love relationship therapy, neuroscience, relationships, or to schedule an appointment or workshop, contact me at [email protected], or visit other areas on this website.